What am I learning?

It has been about a month since my last post.  And I’ve learned a lot in that time.  Here is a list of some of the things I am learning:

  • EVERY thing takes much longer than expected; from making phone calls, to getting paperwork straightened out, to finding an elusive pair of pliers and getting out of the house on time. You name it.
  • I am starting to find interest in cooking again – I made dinner two nights in a row!
  • “Not every day is going to be a good day, but every day has good moments in it” – from a very wise woman who is a bit further down this same path
  • I can do this – a phrase I used frequently over the past six months
  • It is going to be OK – a wise counselor told me this
  • OK – my way of cheering myself on when a simple task is completed
  • I have a limit when socializing and fatique sets in quickly once I’ve reached that limit
  • I need “down time” to sit and think and reflect
  • I really don’t like the word “normal” whether it is “new” or not
  • It can take several months for a primary caregiver to recover from the exhaustion of caring for a loved one.
  • Grief has impacted how I feel when I exercise – this one is hard to explain
  • I don’t have to leave cooked spinach out of recipes anymore (Mike detested cooked spinach)
  • I learned more about Mike throughout his illness than I had in our 30 years together…and I loved and admired him even more on October 31
  • God does give us more than we can handle.  When I can no longer rely solely on myself, I more fully experience His love and care in a deeper personal way
  • Joy is different than happiness (an old lesson experienced on a whole new level). Happiness is dependent on circumstances.  Joy is not and can be experienced in the midst of great hardship
  • Focus on this moment in this day. Continue to make plans but know that God is already working on tomorrow.  And He is helping me face today’s challenges
  • Circumstances are ever changing.  God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit never change…never have…never will.
  • I will not always feel this way
  • “Rehearsing your troubles results in experiencing them many times, whereas you are meant to go through them only when they actually occur. Do not multiply your suffering in this way!”  How true, how true.  (from Jesus Calling, January 16)
  • “Spiritual blessings come wrapped in trials” (Jesus Calling)


  • Dogs like to roll in smelly stuff that they find out in the woods (this is not a revelation…but a lesson relearned)

As you can see, I am learning many things each day. I want to do a better job of writing them down so I don’t forget.  But the biggest thing I know is how thankful I am that I know a God who will never leave me or forsake me; who will always love me and care for me. This song resonated with me today by Third Day, “I’ve Always Loved You“.


13 thoughts on “What am I learning?

  1. Darcie says:

    Thank you again Patty for your wonderful words of wisdom. I cling to words from God as they are given in many forms. Thank you for giving me my words from God today.

  2. You are such a faith-filled person; that will continue to serve you well. I was divorced with two little boys (2 and 4 years old) and there were days when I needed help and God knew it. Faith got me through and to the wonderful place I am today.

  3. Bayreuther Lloyd says:

    Patty, I learn so much from your notes. Thank you for putting into words your feelings that allow us to share in your healing. I feel privileged to be a part of God’s work in your life.

  4. Patsy McLaughlin says:

    I felt uplifted when I read your current update. I found myself at times smiling or nodding my head when I was reading your words,thinking “I remember this-or that-, when I was walking that road–and it is good what she is recognizing and learning on the recovery road.”
    Two things resonated with me ” Happiness and Joy are not the same thing” and “God does give us more than what we can handle.”
    How true! I remember times when I looked to the heavens and said
    ” Lord, you’ve made a mistake this time- I just can’t handle this”
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feeling during this most difficult time with others, for it brings healing to all of us.

  5. Peggy McGowan says:

    •”Not every day is going to be a good day, but every day has good moments in it” (I am posting this on my website for my students; couldn’t be any more perfect) Thank you for your posts…they are enlightening, they are calming, they shed more light on your days, which helps me to understanding, as your sister, the how’s, why’s, when’s of you. I love you for your strength and the faith that you have and share. I know there is no “normal” and I am glad that you made that point.–life is not normal; God knows how much we know that to be true. I look forward to talking more with you soon…love you…nite-nite….Peggy

  6. Teresa says:

    Insightful. Beautiful. Soulful. I am blessed to have you in my world. I think of you often, every day.

  7. Susan Bever says:

    Thank you…Susan

  8. joline says:

    Coach, from the day I met you you have inspired me and have been the one woman I admire and respect the most. You have always been the example of stoicism and strength in my eyes. I respected that tremendously, but as I have learned of Mikes condition and passing you have been on my mind and in my prayers daily. Through reading your posts I have grown to know a different side to you..my Coach, one in which I admire even more through your transparenty in your journaling. I seek to find out how your doing, I worry, but know you have an amazing group of family, friends and a deep faith in god guiding you through this journey and path you speak of. Patty know that I genuinely care about how you are, I know I’m just a player, acquaintance,and through time have only kept up through social media, but I do hope that your journey becomes less difficult, and your new,found learning w guide you closer to healing. My heart breaks knowing you, Becky and Mollly ( and Keith) are hurting, but know your strength in faith is guiding you well. ((Hugs)) Joline

  9. Marlene says:

    This is a beautiful post and I really learn a lot from them.

  10. Debbie Collins says:

    Patty, I feel so blessed to have you in my life. While the miles and time have separated us, you continue to stay close to my heart. You are very brave as you share your inner most thoughts with us, which allows us to to grow in our own faith and friendship. I keep thinking about “joy” and “happiness” and how true those words are.

    Joy is prayer – Joy is strength – Joy is love – Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.~Mother Teresa

  11. Becky M says:

    For some reason I only just read these. I love you and how willing you are to learn and hurt and heal.

  12. Melissa says:

    Is it okay if I share your blog with my bereavement support group

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