What am I learning?

It has been about a month since my last post.  And I’ve learned a lot in that time.  Here is a list of some of the things I am learning:

• EVERY thing takes much longer than expected; from making phone calls, to getting paperwork straightened out, to finding an elusive pair of pliers and getting out of the house on time. You name it.
• I am starting to find interest in cooking again – I made dinner two nights in a row!
• “Not every day is going to be a good day, but every day has good moments in it” – from a very wise woman who is a bit further down this same path
• I can do this – a phrase I used frequently over the past six months
• It is going to be OK – a wise counselor told me this
• OK – my way of cheering myself on when a simple task is completed
• I have a limit when socializing and fatique sets in quickly once I’ve reached that limit
• I need “down time” to sit and think and reflect
• I really don’t like the word “normal” whether it is “new” or not
• It can take several months for a primary caregiver to recover from the exhaustion of caring for a loved one.
• Grief has impacted how I feel when I exercise – this one is hard to explain
• I don’t have to leave cooked spinach out of recipes anymore (Mike detested cooked spinach)
• I learned more about Mike throughout his illness than I had in our 30 years together…and I loved and admired him even more on October 31
• God does give us more than we can handle.  When I can no longer rely solely on myself, I more fully experience His love and care in a deeper personal way
• Joy is different than happiness (an old lesson experienced on a whole new level). Happiness is dependent on circumstances.  Joy is not and can be experienced in the midst of great hardship
• Focus on this moment in this day. Continue to make plans but know that God is already working on tomorrow.  And He is helping me face today’s challenges
• Circumstances are ever changing.  God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit never change…never have…never will.
• I will not always feel this way
• “Rehearsing your troubles results in experiencing them many times, whereas you are meant to go through them only when they actually occur. Do not multiply your suffering in this way!”  How true, how true.  (from Jesus Calling, January 16)
• “Spiritual blessings come wrapped in trials” (Jesus Calling)

and

• Dogs like to roll in smelly stuff that they find out in the woods (this is not a revelation…but a lesson relearned)

As you can see, I am learning many things each day. I want to do a better job of writing them down so I don’t forget.  But the biggest thing I know is how thankful I am that I know a God who will never leave me or forsake me; who will always love me and care for me. This song resonated with me today by Third Day, “I’ve Always Loved You“.